I am an inventor, a mythmaker, who has received/taken remnants of her indigenous religious heritage, and newly available parts, and spun and woven new threads, fabrics and stories.[i]
My method of approach has been informed by my deep personal involvement … my need to “place” myself here – as feminist philosopher Luce Irigaray suggests that woman needs to do.[ii]
Irigaray said that woman is not situated, “does not situate herself in her place,” that she serves as a thing and is thus nude.[iii] I have intuitively felt the need to “clothe” myself, to find the Place within me, to move from object to sentient subject.[iv]
(I have the need overcome societal objectification too, but for me the analogy works in reverse. I feel the closer I come to understanding my place in the cosmology the more layers of society I remove from my person. I am stripping away
years eons of patriarchy and revealing the divine feminine.)
The way the Cosmos was for a white girl child of Western European descent growing up in country Australia, with Protestant religious teachings, was a place surveyed scrupulously by a vengeful Father God, who was at the same time spoken of as the epitome of Love. What did that do to one’s understanding of Love? How does a woman – or any person – become functional within such a cosmology?
(Hahaha, I know right…)
I did eventually uncover that this father god was deeply divorced from an earlier Earth-based heritage that had been completely covered over within the Protestant reality … a heritage that had a Female form, which I became very hungry to know. The journey has been Home.
(This happened for me, when I was 15 and let loose in the public library. In reality though, a part of me had always known that a father like the Protestant God I knew could not parent alone, effectively. This is perhaps because of my own family situation and the personalities of my own parents. I witnessed the care-giving aspects of my mother and the inability of my father to connect with us. Mother was the parent. Father lived with her. Not once, did she say “Wait until your father gets home.” She took care of everything having to do with us. He was for all intents, nonessential after conception.)
I was a religious young person with a heart seeking the essence of a sentient Cosmos, but blind to the androcracy of the offered teachings and texts. My feminist awakening came in the late 1970’s via the early writings of philosopher Mary Daly.[v] There began the conscious search and passion for a cosmology that included and embraced me and my female kind fully:
The Form and the Shape that they sought
was not in any Atlas.
Her gaps had been covered up,
Her hollows filled in,
Her name blanked out.
She lay buried beneath things, silent,
but with a detectable visceral pulse.[vi]
Admonished and encouraged by Monique Wittig’s famous: “Make an effort to remember. Or, failing that, invent”,[vii] I eventually became bold enough to assume such a task – the task of re-creating a gynocentric cosmology in which I could situate myself. I had no plan, just a felt necessity that drew me on – it was completely organic.
(The library excursion that opened my eyes came in the form of astrology. I checked out a stack of books and was later admonished by my Grandmother. She wrote a list of Bible verses explaining why I should leave astrology alone. Beginning with Isa. 47:8 she guided me to the fall of Babylon, but I was struck by the admission “perhaps you will succeed” Isa. 47:12. Then she pointed me to Dan. 2:1 when the King seeks the advice of occultists. I was shocked by the King’s threat, “I will have you cut into pieces and your houses turned into piles of rubble” Dan 2:5, and realized that the astrologers might lie about upcoming events in fear of their lives. And the list goes on, each example only strengthening my resolve, and piquing my interest. )
The process has included three qualities: (i) the transformation of making Space to Be … much had to be broken down, dismantled, and debris removed; (ii) the dedication to the sacred Urge to Be – daring the journey and; (iii) the creating of a dynamic Place to Be … being in communion with others, growing and in-forming each other with new knowledge. A gynocentric cosmology was spun from remnants and newly available parts, and ceremoniously embodied in sacred space through her full cycle of creativity – the Seasonal Moments expressed in my place on the planet … in a process over decades. Early on I sensed the power of ceremonial concourse with Her, the power of creating ceremonial space that participated in Her full cycle of Creativity, wherein She could be spoken, sung and danced into being. The sentient cosmos honors this: She is a relational reality, loves attentive con-versation.
Over years I have developed a Poetry and aesthetics for the Solstices, Equinoxes and cross-quarter days, based in the work of Starhawk,[viii] yet re-created with celebration of Her as the creative dynamic unfolding the Cosmos. I wrote:
… I am not referring to a “feminine” part of the Divine, nor to some complementary partner to the Great Mystery, nor to some “half” of the Creative Principle of the Universe. When I speak of Her, She is a name for the whole Creative Principle.[ix]
The unfolding gynocentric cosmology was/is grounded in Western European Pagan/indigenous tradition, linked to story of the unfolding universe – Cosmogenesis, and in particular expressed with female metaphor … triple Goddess poetry: unfolding as a Poiesis of the creative cosmos, the making of a world. I wrote a doctoral thesis on it. I spoke of Her as the Female Metaphor.
(Similarly, I created little spaces, moments, and places to honor Her as the seasons changed. I was not led by Starhawk, but by and internal calling and Madonna (of all people). My first pregnancy coincided with the wheel of the year and my daughter was born on Beltane. The year preceding her birth I listened to Madonna’s Ray of Light CD on repeat. The spirituality of her songs was magic to my ears, but my journey was still small and secret. I feigned Protestant faith and worried over the state of my soul.)
It began with a passion to know Her as the Name of the Cosmos – the Mantra Matrika, by which the universe is spoken into being.[x] I desired to study Her three qualities – as the patriarchs had (struggled) to do for their trinity, for their version of Her: I had a passion to fathom their significance. Self-described “geologian” Thomas Berry described three qualities of Cosmogenesis … the process by which Western science understands the universe comes into being,[xi] and I identified these three qualities with Hers: Her triplicity with essential cosmological creativity. Brian Swimme and Thomas Berry call these three features of Cosmogenesis “cosmological orderings of the creative display of energy everywhere and at any time throughout the history of the universe.”[xii] They say these three refer to the “basal intentionality of all existence” and they are “beyond any simple one-line univocal definition”.[xiii]They are highly complex, interconnected and ongoing processes. And so She is.
(The desire to go back in time to a more pure faith, to find the original truth, grabbed me too, and I took my first step. From Protestantism I journeyed into Catholicism and began attending RCIA – become a Catholic – classes. The love for Mary as a quasi-divine counterpart was refreshing, and the inclusion of so many female saints was great too! Then I “met” St. Brigid. She was so painfully, obviously, more than what the church presented. She was my cross-over goddess.)
The triple spiral motif, the triple goddess, many triplicities around the world may express this – the nature of Her creative unfolding of the Cosmos in every moment. And She may be celebrated in a year long process of seasonal creativity as Earth orbits our Sun: I translated a devotional practice of such celebration to my place in the Southern Hemisphere, in Australia. The consistent sacred space became a Gaian Womb, a sacred site, that has held and nurtured many.
(Brigid too! She is a triple goddess consistently waxing, at height, and waning… Examples of triplicity began to jump out at me. I saw Her three-fold form everywhere. There was no going back to patriarchy. I couldn’t believe in something that felt so incomplete.)
The path over the decades has been long and winding. (For me too, in a good way.) Robin Morgan’s poetry has nursed me since early times:
I am learning.
The cord is wrapped around my throat.
I am learning.
The passageway is cramped and blind
I am learning
though Kali dances through it, past
where Demeter still seeks Persephone,
where Isis searches for the fragments of Osiris, where I wade upstream through a living current
which seizes me and drowns me into life,
pumping, pumping, as from a giant heart
whose roar I have called Mother in my dreams.
What do you remember?
What is it that you long for still?
Oh let me hear you hear
me speak oh
me oh let me[xiv]
O One who Hears
Let me Speak
What is it that
Wants to be Spoken?
O speak to me o
hear me speak you
am given, received … Met[xv]
And so, it is.
May each find Her reciprocity:
We are/She is creator and created, always at the same time.
© Glenys Livingstone 2015
So there you have it. The triple goddess in one of her infinite forms calling to another soul. Not just you, or me, or Glenys, but each of us if only we stop and listen.
Hope you’ve enjoyed these annotations. If you enjoyed this post, click LIKE and I’ll make more like it!
Until next time,